Once upon a time, there was a couple expecting their first child. Once they found out they were having a daughter, they did what most parents did- celebrated, rejoiced, and registered.
Then our beautiful baby came. We had a ton of stuff for her based on what we needed and was recommended to buy or sadly because they looked cute. Now six months into our adventures with Addie, I realized there are a couple of things I should have known BEFORE registering for the floral bouncer seat because it was so darn cute.
1. Bouncer seats: We use ours everyday. If we didn't, I would never shower. So, what I should have checked was the weight limit. Most are made for infants and can be used up to 25 pounds. There are some that are newborn to toddler. So much better! They convert into seats that are accommodating for your big girl up to 40 pounds. I am trading in my bouncer this week!
2. Stroller and infant seat: I am a huge fan of the infant seat. When they are tiny and sleeping, it is fantastic to simply "snap and go." However, I made the huge mistake of buying a travel system based on parental pressure and price. I bought (was given) a jogging stroller travel system. Honestly it seemed like a great investment- especially at the soccer games, but once we moved Addie to a regular carseat, the jogger was too big to bring to the mall and she hates the umbrella stroller. Now after research and having a baby, I realized that I need more of a grow with Addie stroller. I found the Britax B-Ready or those similar (City makes one and so does Bugaboo) are great options. The Britax has the option for Addie to face me and be up higher than the umbrella. Plus, it can hold a toddler up to 40 pounds plus converts to a dual stroller. It is perfect for people looking to expand their families (some of us sooner than later!). Had I known this, I would have purchased the Britax infant seat from the start. Now I am trading in!
3. The high chair- a necessity. We weren't sure what we wanted, so we registered for a compact and cute version that attaches to a chair. It was great while she was an infant. It reclined fully, and she could sit at the table. I even was a proponent of the portability. But once we hit six months, it is cumbersome at the table, she doesn't enjoy sitting in it for long periods of time, and we now use the boosters at restaurants. So, we are now shopping for a stand alone version that we can wipe down completely (no fabric thank you), can roll from room to room (carrying the chair was ridiculous), and is infant to toddler (the other seat was too). Another trade in!!
I don't have all the answers yet, but I working on purchasing more carefully from this point forward.
Things to consider:
Longevity
Durability
Usability
Cleanability
Cuteability (it does matter!)
Ask friends what they used, read online reviews, and don't be pressured to buy because of price. Sometimes you get what you pay for.
Here are some items I would buy again and again:
1. A playmat
2. An exersaucer
3. A pack and play
4. Anything musical
5. Books
6. An Ergo baby carrier
7. A Deckor diaperpail
8. An infant seat and some sort or snap and go stroller.
The jury is still out on...
To swing or not to swing. Some babies love them, but Addie hated hers. Next time, I would wait and see.
The baby bath tub aka "the spa." I used the infant insert for about a month before she was too big. Then the tub needed to be stored. It was all a hassle. Next time I would just use her bath chair (16 dollars at BRU) from the beginning. BUT I only had one bathroom, so if you had two, you may keep the bathtub longer.
Baby bedding! Sheets are a necessity, but the APA once again has bashed bumpers because if SIDS and asphyxiation risks. I loved her bedding, but I never used the bumpers or the pillow. I only used the sheet. And by the time she is ready for bedding, I will purchase a toddler or twin set.
In the grand scheme of things, I am über grateful for the events like the Big Trade In. It saves me some cash that I would otherwise be throwing away or trying to sell at a garage sale. This way I trade in, receive 25% off, and trade up!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Things I wish someone would have told me before I was pregnant.
There are many realities to having a baby. Many of these realities you will never foresee, but you depend on experienced "been there done there" moms to parlay to you. However, I truly believe that one of two things happen: 1. BTDT moms have babymesia. The joy of loving their babies so much causes them to forget all of the scary, annoying, or terrible realities of pregnancy and child rearing. This wears off in about ten years or so for most women. This is why the teenage years are so hellish and sp well remembered. Or 2) They lie. They lie because no one warned them and now it is payback.
While I was pregnant no one told me:
1. You will gain weight. You will gain weight from the beginning to end of pregnancy. The only women who don't gain the appropriate amount of weight (30-40 pounds) are usually overweight to begin with or may have other issues. I am not joking or mean to sound like a bitter Betty. This is the first thing the doctor tells you, so tell your friend who swears she only gained 12 or 20 pounds can go fly a kite.
2. Initially when you buy maternity clothes, you make purchases based on your normal size. So if you wear a small, you buy a small. But once you hit month eight or nine, you go to stage two maternity clothes. Your belly is so big it causes the floods to come for all of your pants, and remember how cute crop tops once seemed? Well it isn't so cute when you are hugely preggo. And shirts hovering are not cute or comfy either. So be prepared for Stage 2 and embrace it.
3. You will swell. You may not swell in your legs and feet like I did, but it will happen. So when you want to cry because you look swollen, don't worry, you are! And the beauty of swelling is that water weight is lost almost instantly when you give birth!
4. After having my daughter I heard all the BTDT mom's tell me how this was my first, and I would drop the weight like that! (insert finger snap). Well, trust me, you may lose the weight, but your skin may fight you for awhile. For me, I am six months into mommyhood, and I am still not "me" again. I would like tighter abs and to lose a few more pounds, but I take one look at Addie and smile. I know that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but nothing feels as good as my daughter's smile looks, or her skin smells, or her voice sounds.
5. Last but not least: you are the mom. No matter how helpful you may want your husband to be or how helpful he may try to be, you will always be a mom. Goodbye sick days (and sleep inducing medications for that matter), goodbye privacy, goodbye humility, and goodbye personal routines. Your baby is number one and that will be all that matters. Even though I may not feel it when she is thirteen and rolls her eyes at me, I know I am her number one too. I am the mommy.
While I was pregnant no one told me:
1. You will gain weight. You will gain weight from the beginning to end of pregnancy. The only women who don't gain the appropriate amount of weight (30-40 pounds) are usually overweight to begin with or may have other issues. I am not joking or mean to sound like a bitter Betty. This is the first thing the doctor tells you, so tell your friend who swears she only gained 12 or 20 pounds can go fly a kite.
2. Initially when you buy maternity clothes, you make purchases based on your normal size. So if you wear a small, you buy a small. But once you hit month eight or nine, you go to stage two maternity clothes. Your belly is so big it causes the floods to come for all of your pants, and remember how cute crop tops once seemed? Well it isn't so cute when you are hugely preggo. And shirts hovering are not cute or comfy either. So be prepared for Stage 2 and embrace it.
3. You will swell. You may not swell in your legs and feet like I did, but it will happen. So when you want to cry because you look swollen, don't worry, you are! And the beauty of swelling is that water weight is lost almost instantly when you give birth!
4. After having my daughter I heard all the BTDT mom's tell me how this was my first, and I would drop the weight like that! (insert finger snap). Well, trust me, you may lose the weight, but your skin may fight you for awhile. For me, I am six months into mommyhood, and I am still not "me" again. I would like tighter abs and to lose a few more pounds, but I take one look at Addie and smile. I know that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but nothing feels as good as my daughter's smile looks, or her skin smells, or her voice sounds.
5. Last but not least: you are the mom. No matter how helpful you may want your husband to be or how helpful he may try to be, you will always be a mom. Goodbye sick days (and sleep inducing medications for that matter), goodbye privacy, goodbye humility, and goodbye personal routines. Your baby is number one and that will be all that matters. Even though I may not feel it when she is thirteen and rolls her eyes at me, I know I am her number one too. I am the mommy.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Sometimes being a mommy is hard...
I often read posts of a Babycenter Birth board I belong to (wow- say that three times fast!) just for fun. Most of the posts are basic questions, some are debates (breast or bottle, CIO or not, etc), and a few are just random funny posts to pass the time. The other day a regular poster wrote simply: being a mom is hard sometimes.
I guess she was having a rough day or maybe a sleepless night, or maybe her bundle of joy was teething, or perhaps her baby had her six month boosters (Adelaide did not react well to hers). Whatever the reason, her statement received an abundant amount of responses with the similar sentiment: it sure is!
The truth is that being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had. There are some days where I feel like I am failing especially when Addie is having a tough day or I am overly concerned that I am doing something to permanently scar her or worse: My fear I have done something that will cause her not to love me anymore. I know most moms who read this understand and empathize. Being a mom is hard.
But, and the HUGE but, is that being a mom is also rewarding. More rewarding than any career I have had or job I have worked on. Though I may be giving up a paycheck and "grown up time" that so many people tell me I will miss or need (and they may be right- but so far I am not missing much!), helping Adelaide grow and become a wonderful person is so much better than anything I will ever do.
I remind myself of that sentiment when none of my sweaters are spit up free or I haven't had a solid night's sleep in about a week. Sometimes I have to breathe and count to ten because she is crying hysterically in the car or screams when I leave her sight. It is unfortunate that she can't understand that her cousin likes to come home from school or mommy has to change her shirt because it has pee on it, but I can't fault her for loving me. I love her more than anything on this earth. So instead of beating myself up at night, when I lay down, I just tell myself that being a mom is hard, but well worth it.
I guess she was having a rough day or maybe a sleepless night, or maybe her bundle of joy was teething, or perhaps her baby had her six month boosters (Adelaide did not react well to hers). Whatever the reason, her statement received an abundant amount of responses with the similar sentiment: it sure is!
The truth is that being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had. There are some days where I feel like I am failing especially when Addie is having a tough day or I am overly concerned that I am doing something to permanently scar her or worse: My fear I have done something that will cause her not to love me anymore. I know most moms who read this understand and empathize. Being a mom is hard.
But, and the HUGE but, is that being a mom is also rewarding. More rewarding than any career I have had or job I have worked on. Though I may be giving up a paycheck and "grown up time" that so many people tell me I will miss or need (and they may be right- but so far I am not missing much!), helping Adelaide grow and become a wonderful person is so much better than anything I will ever do.
I remind myself of that sentiment when none of my sweaters are spit up free or I haven't had a solid night's sleep in about a week. Sometimes I have to breathe and count to ten because she is crying hysterically in the car or screams when I leave her sight. It is unfortunate that she can't understand that her cousin likes to come home from school or mommy has to change her shirt because it has pee on it, but I can't fault her for loving me. I love her more than anything on this earth. So instead of beating myself up at night, when I lay down, I just tell myself that being a mom is hard, but well worth it.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Out to Lunch
So this weekend, my husband and I met up with another couple for lunch. We were very excited because it was the first time we were meeting our friend's girlfriend. After having Addie, we have fell out of the social scene. So though the couple has been dating for six months, this is the first time meeting his girlfriend. It was a nice outing: she was wonderful, the food was good, and for early January, the weather was May-like. But I noticed something- a very subtle weird feeling at the table. The conversation didn't lag, but there were a couple of times when breast milk and poopy diapers were the topic of conversation. I think I realized what the oddity was when my husband checked out another (yes another) stroller on the sidewalk. Our friends laughed because we had become "those people" that our friend used to complain about. "Park Slope Parents" he called them. They were the people walking around Park Slope Brooklyn like they owned the place. But the truth is, they are like many new parents, myself included, that are completely and so totally enamored and in love with their child that they don't always know or care about the rest of the world. Seriously.
My husband and I didn't utter a sentence that day that did not gravitate around Adelaide. The other couple is not married and didn't have children. I felt a little bad, but she is our world. And I am not just referring to the joy that she brings, but the simple fact that I am her mommy. She needs us. When you are finally granted that responsibility, you can't help but be consumed by it. And it brings amazing joy, fear, and anxiety. Trust me, there are some nights that I am crying alongside of Adelaide. Just two weeks ago he received shots, had a cold, and was teething. Sleeping was a thing of the past. So was taking anything medicinal successfully or letting me use the booger sucker to help her feel better. Parenting isn't easy, buy it is better than anything I have ever done before.
So while I thought about the lunch and how happy I was that our friend had found a great girl, I stopped feeling so guilty about all the baby talk. Addie is our passion, just like art or wine is someone else's. In the future, I will give people fair warning: of you don't want to hear about all things baby and all things Addie, then see ya! Ha!
My husband and I didn't utter a sentence that day that did not gravitate around Adelaide. The other couple is not married and didn't have children. I felt a little bad, but she is our world. And I am not just referring to the joy that she brings, but the simple fact that I am her mommy. She needs us. When you are finally granted that responsibility, you can't help but be consumed by it. And it brings amazing joy, fear, and anxiety. Trust me, there are some nights that I am crying alongside of Adelaide. Just two weeks ago he received shots, had a cold, and was teething. Sleeping was a thing of the past. So was taking anything medicinal successfully or letting me use the booger sucker to help her feel better. Parenting isn't easy, buy it is better than anything I have ever done before.
So while I thought about the lunch and how happy I was that our friend had found a great girl, I stopped feeling so guilty about all the baby talk. Addie is our passion, just like art or wine is someone else's. In the future, I will give people fair warning: of you don't want to hear about all things baby and all things Addie, then see ya! Ha!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
"I showered for you"
I never thought that showering would be an event, let alone showering and doing my makeup and hair AND still have my makeup and hair done by the time my husband makes it home by seven. It makes me wonder...
I was watching Kim and Kourtney Kardashian and their beaus the other day, and I couldn't help my surprise at the lack of spark between Kourtney and Scott. Now, I am well aware that it is a reality show and not reality, but Kourtney and Scott face something that I realize many couples with children have. Kourtney put her son
Mason in the número uno spot- and that meant she no longer shared a bed with her beau Scott and was in full time mommy mode. They stopped acting like a couple and were parents.
This leads to my night tonight: I am walking down the stairs with the baby, showered, hair all pretty (and newly dyed), and my makeup done (in my pajamas by the way! So sexy). My husband walked behind us, and I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and said in a accusatory tone, "I showered for you!" I had a smile on my face, but I was a little upset that I wasn't pawed as soon as he entered the front door or greeted with comments such as, "There is the hottest woman I know!". Then my jovial/ slightly serious attitude towards my husband was replaced by horror at myself. When did I ever want a medal for showering? Seriously? It is something I have done religiously since I hit puberty, so why should I be honored?
I guess the lesson I learned tonight is I have to try too. Though I may be in full mommy mode, and I am tired from the day or completely obsessed with the new skill Addie has mastered (like today she has learned to scream angrily - I love it!), I am still a partner to my hubby. And when I want a medal because I showered for him today, I need to remember: he showered for me AND brushed his teeth before slipping me the tongue this morning! Haha!
I am learning that I have to find yet another balance in life. I have to be more like Jerry Seinfeld in the episode where George and Elaine become one another metaphorically, but Jerry learns he will always break even. I don't always have to be the same minx I once was ;) but I don't have to be Donna Reed all the time either.
I was watching Kim and Kourtney Kardashian and their beaus the other day, and I couldn't help my surprise at the lack of spark between Kourtney and Scott. Now, I am well aware that it is a reality show and not reality, but Kourtney and Scott face something that I realize many couples with children have. Kourtney put her son
Mason in the número uno spot- and that meant she no longer shared a bed with her beau Scott and was in full time mommy mode. They stopped acting like a couple and were parents.
This leads to my night tonight: I am walking down the stairs with the baby, showered, hair all pretty (and newly dyed), and my makeup done (in my pajamas by the way! So sexy). My husband walked behind us, and I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and said in a accusatory tone, "I showered for you!" I had a smile on my face, but I was a little upset that I wasn't pawed as soon as he entered the front door or greeted with comments such as, "There is the hottest woman I know!". Then my jovial/ slightly serious attitude towards my husband was replaced by horror at myself. When did I ever want a medal for showering? Seriously? It is something I have done religiously since I hit puberty, so why should I be honored?
I guess the lesson I learned tonight is I have to try too. Though I may be in full mommy mode, and I am tired from the day or completely obsessed with the new skill Addie has mastered (like today she has learned to scream angrily - I love it!), I am still a partner to my hubby. And when I want a medal because I showered for him today, I need to remember: he showered for me AND brushed his teeth before slipping me the tongue this morning! Haha!
I am learning that I have to find yet another balance in life. I have to be more like Jerry Seinfeld in the episode where George and Elaine become one another metaphorically, but Jerry learns he will always break even. I don't always have to be the same minx I once was ;) but I don't have to be Donna Reed all the time either.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
It is 10:27 and my daughter is in her crib...
Asleep! First time in awhile. Between growth spurts and teeth, Addie is my newest accessory- she never leaves my arms. It is weird not having her in my arms asleep, and if I didn't have two monitors (one video and one Angelcare), I wouldn't be in my bed either. Ironic isn't it? The first night in about two weeks I am sans baby, and I can't sleep.
Ironic seems to sum up my first time mom experiences so far. I am having the most difficulty with what I thought was an easy and well planned choice: staying home for a year. Yet it is the downfall of new mommyhood: staying home for the first time. Though I don't want to go back to work at all, I miss my paycheck. I am overcome with worry and guilt about our money- especially with the Christmas holiday quickly approaching. I planned and saved for this, but as Robert Burns once said, "the best laid plans...."
I truly don't want to return to work, but I feel extremely guilty about staying home. My husband has the weight of the world on his shoulders now, and I feel awful. But the thought of leaving my baby - I just can't fathom that either.
I guess I have the same gripe that many moms face- this world we live in that women before us struggled to create, a world of opportunity and freedoms that many women dream they could have- is not fair. Just because I can be a CEO and make six figures (or a teacher and make five figures), doesn't mean I want to or should have to. Because in the long run, it means I have to pull double duty and choose. That means I can't give all of me to anything, which doesn't seem fair.
I am trying to find a way to stay at home, earn some money, and be a full time mom to my daughter. Maybe it is because my mom wasn't home, or maybe I am unable to be satisfied with the notion of someone else raising my daughter and seeing her firsts- maybe it is both. But we should be able to live in a world or a country where you can choose, because the world we live in now gives me no choice.
I am off my soapbox now. I will try to close my eyes and rest. Hopefully my baby girl will sleep through the night, but if she doesn't that is okay- I miss my favorite accessory.
Ironic seems to sum up my first time mom experiences so far. I am having the most difficulty with what I thought was an easy and well planned choice: staying home for a year. Yet it is the downfall of new mommyhood: staying home for the first time. Though I don't want to go back to work at all, I miss my paycheck. I am overcome with worry and guilt about our money- especially with the Christmas holiday quickly approaching. I planned and saved for this, but as Robert Burns once said, "the best laid plans...."
I truly don't want to return to work, but I feel extremely guilty about staying home. My husband has the weight of the world on his shoulders now, and I feel awful. But the thought of leaving my baby - I just can't fathom that either.
I guess I have the same gripe that many moms face- this world we live in that women before us struggled to create, a world of opportunity and freedoms that many women dream they could have- is not fair. Just because I can be a CEO and make six figures (or a teacher and make five figures), doesn't mean I want to or should have to. Because in the long run, it means I have to pull double duty and choose. That means I can't give all of me to anything, which doesn't seem fair.
I am trying to find a way to stay at home, earn some money, and be a full time mom to my daughter. Maybe it is because my mom wasn't home, or maybe I am unable to be satisfied with the notion of someone else raising my daughter and seeing her firsts- maybe it is both. But we should be able to live in a world or a country where you can choose, because the world we live in now gives me no choice.
I am off my soapbox now. I will try to close my eyes and rest. Hopefully my baby girl will sleep through the night, but if she doesn't that is okay- I miss my favorite accessory.
Friday, October 21, 2011
First Post... and the baby is napping, so I have to make it quick!
Well, my daughter is three months old, and this is the first post I am making on my "FTM" blog. So that should give you some indication about what the first months have been like! It has been the most amazing three months of my life and the most challenging. From the sleep deprivation, to the explosive poop, or realizing that my daughter is just like me in so many ways (and boy are my parents happy about that); I just can't believe that my husband and I thought we were living a life before our little addition. Really. I can't believe that I woke up and actually went through the day without her, because I can't imagine that now.
That being said, not all days are daffodils and roses. There are some days that begin with a scream and end with mommy falling asleep in her clothes from sheer exhaustion. It is not so much taking care of a little one that tries you, it is taking care of everything else and a little one that tries you. For example, I never thought I would celebrate the moment I figured out how to go to the bathroom and not have my daughter crying in her crib. I celebrated it! (By the way, in case your wondering, the vibrating chair lives in the bathroom. My daughter loves it and will sit perfectly content in it until I am done showering or peeing or brushing my teeth).
But with every success, there are still hurdles. I cut my hair (my long long long hair, that needed to be cut, but I should have waited until the postpartum hormones were gone to do so), about six weeks after she was born. I hated it. The haircut was great, but I was having haircut remorse. Silly mommy! Why lament about something you don't use? Seriously, the last time I actually had a chance to "do" my hair was the day of her christening. Otherwise, I am officially a member of the ponytail patrol.
I must run for today because my daughter calls-- and frankly I miss her when she naps! I guess the gist of my first post as a "first time mom" is that parenting is in one word..... humbling. Gone are the days that I sat in judgement at the DINK table (double income no kids), and here is to a future of spit-up and those precious smiles that you would gladly cut your hair off for again and again. (O'Henry knew what he was talking about!)
That being said, not all days are daffodils and roses. There are some days that begin with a scream and end with mommy falling asleep in her clothes from sheer exhaustion. It is not so much taking care of a little one that tries you, it is taking care of everything else and a little one that tries you. For example, I never thought I would celebrate the moment I figured out how to go to the bathroom and not have my daughter crying in her crib. I celebrated it! (By the way, in case your wondering, the vibrating chair lives in the bathroom. My daughter loves it and will sit perfectly content in it until I am done showering or peeing or brushing my teeth).
But with every success, there are still hurdles. I cut my hair (my long long long hair, that needed to be cut, but I should have waited until the postpartum hormones were gone to do so), about six weeks after she was born. I hated it. The haircut was great, but I was having haircut remorse. Silly mommy! Why lament about something you don't use? Seriously, the last time I actually had a chance to "do" my hair was the day of her christening. Otherwise, I am officially a member of the ponytail patrol.
I must run for today because my daughter calls-- and frankly I miss her when she naps! I guess the gist of my first post as a "first time mom" is that parenting is in one word..... humbling. Gone are the days that I sat in judgement at the DINK table (double income no kids), and here is to a future of spit-up and those precious smiles that you would gladly cut your hair off for again and again. (O'Henry knew what he was talking about!)
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