There are many realities to having a baby. Many of these realities you will never foresee, but you depend on experienced "been there done there" moms to parlay to you. However, I truly believe that one of two things happen: 1. BTDT moms have babymesia. The joy of loving their babies so much causes them to forget all of the scary, annoying, or terrible realities of pregnancy and child rearing. This wears off in about ten years or so for most women. This is why the teenage years are so hellish and sp well remembered. Or 2) They lie. They lie because no one warned them and now it is payback.
While I was pregnant no one told me:
1. You will gain weight. You will gain weight from the beginning to end of pregnancy. The only women who don't gain the appropriate amount of weight (30-40 pounds) are usually overweight to begin with or may have other issues. I am not joking or mean to sound like a bitter Betty. This is the first thing the doctor tells you, so tell your friend who swears she only gained 12 or 20 pounds can go fly a kite.
2. Initially when you buy maternity clothes, you make purchases based on your normal size. So if you wear a small, you buy a small. But once you hit month eight or nine, you go to stage two maternity clothes. Your belly is so big it causes the floods to come for all of your pants, and remember how cute crop tops once seemed? Well it isn't so cute when you are hugely preggo. And shirts hovering are not cute or comfy either. So be prepared for Stage 2 and embrace it.
3. You will swell. You may not swell in your legs and feet like I did, but it will happen. So when you want to cry because you look swollen, don't worry, you are! And the beauty of swelling is that water weight is lost almost instantly when you give birth!
4. After having my daughter I heard all the BTDT mom's tell me how this was my first, and I would drop the weight like that! (insert finger snap). Well, trust me, you may lose the weight, but your skin may fight you for awhile. For me, I am six months into mommyhood, and I am still not "me" again. I would like tighter abs and to lose a few more pounds, but I take one look at Addie and smile. I know that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but nothing feels as good as my daughter's smile looks, or her skin smells, or her voice sounds.
5. Last but not least: you are the mom. No matter how helpful you may want your husband to be or how helpful he may try to be, you will always be a mom. Goodbye sick days (and sleep inducing medications for that matter), goodbye privacy, goodbye humility, and goodbye personal routines. Your baby is number one and that will be all that matters. Even though I may not feel it when she is thirteen and rolls her eyes at me, I know I am her number one too. I am the mommy.