I often read posts of a Babycenter Birth board I belong to (wow- say that three times fast!) just for fun. Most of the posts are basic questions, some are debates (breast or bottle, CIO or not, etc), and a few are just random funny posts to pass the time. The other day a regular poster wrote simply: being a mom is hard sometimes.
I guess she was having a rough day or maybe a sleepless night, or maybe her bundle of joy was teething, or perhaps her baby had her six month boosters (Adelaide did not react well to hers). Whatever the reason, her statement received an abundant amount of responses with the similar sentiment: it sure is!
The truth is that being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had. There are some days where I feel like I am failing especially when Addie is having a tough day or I am overly concerned that I am doing something to permanently scar her or worse: My fear I have done something that will cause her not to love me anymore. I know most moms who read this understand and empathize. Being a mom is hard.
But, and the HUGE but, is that being a mom is also rewarding. More rewarding than any career I have had or job I have worked on. Though I may be giving up a paycheck and "grown up time" that so many people tell me I will miss or need (and they may be right- but so far I am not missing much!), helping Adelaide grow and become a wonderful person is so much better than anything I will ever do.
I remind myself of that sentiment when none of my sweaters are spit up free or I haven't had a solid night's sleep in about a week. Sometimes I have to breathe and count to ten because she is crying hysterically in the car or screams when I leave her sight. It is unfortunate that she can't understand that her cousin likes to come home from school or mommy has to change her shirt because it has pee on it, but I can't fault her for loving me. I love her more than anything on this earth. So instead of beating myself up at night, when I lay down, I just tell myself that being a mom is hard, but well worth it.